Bonds
by Arda-Xanth
Summary: Palin and Dalamar's other students set out on a quest, each with their own demons, and Palin brings a few back with him! Rating for later on...maybe.
1. One

**Bonds**

Disclaimer: I own nothing involved with the Dragonlance books.

AN: This is my first try in this fandom. Raistlin's my favorite, but there's already a ton of stuff about him. Right now, I only have my mom's books from twenty-odd years ago, so if something doesn't fit with the newer books, please pardon me.

* * *

It was a strange day that a blue dragon came to ask Paladine's favor. The war was near it's end, but his request was not about this. Astinus paused when he heard those words from another plane:

"My Queen is vanquished; my kind are returning to her side, and we will waste away in sleep until the balance of the world is threatened again. There is one, a silver she-dragon, who loves an elf. She wishes to remain here, as do I. If I must walk the realms as a mortal, so be it."

Paladine then asked this question:

"For what are you willing to forsake the favor of your Queen, and the immortality of your race?"

He was answered:

"For love, as she."

Paladine looked deep into the heart and soul of the dragon, and saw indeed that his plea was on behalf of love, though intertwined with revenge and iniquity. Yet love was it's core, and love must always cause some good, no matter what evil is done by it as well. Thus, the dragon's request was granted, and he became a dark elf.

* * *

The dark elf watched the young man intently, unbeknownst to him. All of the eight apprentices were uniquely talented, extremely driven by something. Dalamar often pondered his student's motivation, but naturally it was Palin who was most often on his mind. A White Robe suitable for tutelage under a Black Robe was rare, but both the student and teacher agreed that this was where Palin belonged. As usual, he was sitting against the door to the uppermost chamber, the Guardian hovering near by, the Staff of Magius across his lap, and a heavy spell book held inches from his face.

Dalamar watched as he gave up on a particular spell, flipping through the pages until another incantation caught his eye. The Black Robe did not especially care what order they learned in, so long as they did. Each had spell books of their own that he had carefully chosen, and they were welcome to study each other's books. He would allow them to use some of his if the pupil demonstrated the need, and their progress in their own books. They didn't make use of these opportunities often, all eight of them being loners, but the students would often barter with spells.

That's why Palin was having such difficulty. He had traded spells with one of the elven students the previous evening. The Qualinesti elf's tome was written in the common tongue, but the young dark elf from Silvanesti had a book written in elven script. Palin was trying to recite the spell from memory. Dalamar would have to check up on Seldarin later, see which spell he had gained.

The master approached Palin, suggesting softly "You would learn easier if you had asked how to actually pronounce those words."

"Yes, but Seldarin would charge another spell for the privilege, so I declined."

"And you could not ask me?"

"You've been busy come of late, master."

"True. Let me see that bit of parchment."

Palin searched through the pages, then retrieved the wrinkled scrap the spell was written on. He carefully tugged the paper smooth, then held it out for his teacher. Dalamar glanced at it, starting to read the words, then halted suddenly, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Necromancy...The summoning of the black spirits. What did you offer him?"

"It was he who offered. He wanted the spell for summoning the white spirits. We both thought it'd be useful to know both, so the deal was made. He did not mention why he wanted to conjure the good spirits, and I did not ask," Palin said, shrugging. "So, will you tell me how to pronounce this, master?"

Dalamar nodded, reminded for just a moment of Crysania and Raistlin. He wrote out the spell using Palin's alphabet, then said "Actually, you can learn to pronounce that now that it is written in Common. Did Seldarin tell you of the conditions required for the spell to work?"

"Yes. Onyx prism, skull, usually of a cat or stag, four tapers, blood freely given?"

"That's correct. Be careful if you choose to try it anytime soon. The contact is weak with that spell, but if you invoke a powerful being, they can draw you into their plane. Also, tonight you must come to the dining hall. I have an announcement."

* * *

The first to arrive at the table was Rila. She quietly sat down in the nearest chair, her delicate face hidden by her red hood. She was soft-spoken, gentle, possessed of a keen mind. She was so naive that Dalamar often wondered why she had not adopted the white robes, but she would always evade the question. He suspected that she would have, were it not for the cat that always accompanied her. According to her, the cat appeared on the day of her birth. The day she arrived at the tower, the cat was found waiting, having suffered none for traveling through the Shoiken Grove. To this day, the mystery went unsolved.

Next came Seldarin, who reminded Dalamar so much of himself. The dark elf was arrogant, intelligent, and very much like the Head of the Order of the Black Robes was at that time in his life. He swept into the room with a grandeur he did not yet deserve, and took a seat at Dalamar's right, looking at Rila condescendingly. The girlshe was only fifteen, a full decade younger than the oldest of the human studentsignored him, focused on a mental conversation with the feline.

Arine was heard before she entered. The Solamnic girl was blind, as Seers often are, and that sound was the tapping of her staff, which was used more for walking than spell-casting. As a mage, she was only marginally talented, but the magic was strong in her. It simply manifested itself in unconscious forms such as the Sight rather than intentional ones. She had the uncanny ability to find various items, most often used for everyone's benefit by locating rare spell components. Arine was one of the few who could make truly magical objects. That is not those things which are enchanted, such as armor that resists fire, but the things which have latent magic which must be harnessed and manipulated, such as a wand. The red-clad woman took a seat at the end of the table. She knew she was different from the rest, but all of them understood her value.

Bretik and Naldyn entered together. Both Black Robes, the two are the closest of any of the students. Naldyn took a seat next to Rila, Bretik across from her. The pair resumed their discussion, giving no attention to anyone else, save for the customary acknowledgment of Dalamar. He gave the couple a fleeting amused smile, but the lovers had already forgotten him. Dalamar continued watching, wondering how much real affection was between them. Of course, he would know soon enough.

Teliralas of Qualinesti glided in, still reading. Absently, he pulled out a chair and sat down, all without a pause in his reading. He was the sort who would wear red until he took the Test so that he could learn as much as possible. His pleasure was his magic, and when he could not read, he practiced the spells he had already acquired in his mind. Telir did not have any enemies, friends, or allies in the tower. The only way to hurt him was to end his study. Dalamar was rather proud of Telir in that respect.

Almost silently, Palin sat beside Arine. Apparently he came in at the same time Telir did, ignored. Arine turned her head in his direction, recognizing the rhythm of his footsteps. He pitied her, and she despised him for it. Palin even knew this, and could not help himself. He sighed guiltily and pushed his chair a little further away.

Last, Canore slunk in. He hid himself in his black robes, gazing out at the rest. In some ways, Canore reminded Dalamar more of Raistlin than Palin did. He was not simply cold, but antagonistic. Apparently, the young man had known for a very long time that he had no choice but darkness. What exactly had led him to that conclusion, Dalamar could not say. Canore was most certain of his alignment, and the other students would agree about little else regarding the most secretive one among them.

Then the feas apeared upon the table. Dalamar sharedhis wine from Silvanesti, from the War of the Lance. The apprentices whispered, giddy with anticipation. They barely noticed the extravagance in trying to gobble up their food when it becameclear that the master would say nothing until the meal was finished. The only one who ate at a normal rate was Telir. Born into a noble family, he refused to act with the abandon the others had, much to their combined annoyance. At last the elf swallowed his last bite, and Dalamar rose with smirk directed towards the bold Red Robe.

"As you have made self-evident, you have all been waiting quite impatiently for this announcement. I will thus be terse. All of you have been here at least five years now. You still have much to learn, but I think it is time that I really challenge you, my dear pupils. Tomorrow, you will leave the tower at sundown. I will escort you through the Grove, and where you go after that is your own decision. You must bring back something to prove you are worthy to continue your studies here. You may take nothing with you except your staff, clothing, and some rations. You may travel as a group or individually, but whatever is brought back cannot be claimed by more than one person. In a year, you are to return. You have this time to prepare. At dawn, I want each of you to meet me in my chamber. I have a gift for all of you, and if you need anything else, ask then. I would suggest you begin now."


	2. Two

**Bonds**

Disclaimer: I'm not even old enough to own DL.

AN: Sorry about that weird typo in the first chapter. It should have been dashes but got erased somehow.

* * *

Again, Rila was the first one Dalamar saw. As wont, the cat followed her into his chamber. No magical barriers seemed to have any influence on it. The cat was not her familiar, so why it followed her was a mystery. Rila seemed to find comfort from the creature, and it's welfare was the first thing she asked about.

"Good morning, master. I was thinking...Can my cat come with me?"

"I don't know how we would stop it if the creature had it's mind set. Certainly, it's not an ordinary animal."

"No, he is not. Why was I called here?"

Dalamar smiled at the girl suddenly. Turning, he rose from his chair, and entered the second part of his bedroom, where he actually slept. A moment later, he returned holding a beautiful, cherry-wood box. He placed it on the small table in front of Rila, opening it with a word. After gaining Dalamar's approval, Rila lifted the lid open, revealing several long lumps wrapped together in blue silk. The dark elf lifted them all and set the bundle on the table. The silk was pulled away with a flourish, uncovering eight daggers. His fingers gingerly skimmed each before picking up the fourth and holding it out for Rila.

"This is mine? I don't even know how to wield it," she said, taking the weapon as if it were a hallowed artifact.

"If you get close enough to use it, you don't need much skill."

"Thank you, master," Rila said finally, examining the fine blade with it's hilt shaped like a dragon, the globe of quartz in it's open mouth forming the pommel. She unsheathed her dagger, running the edge against her finger tip, then attached the sheath to her belt.

"I have a favor to ask you."

"Then this is the time to do so, young one," he answered, mildly surprised that the shyest pupil would dare. She stood up and reached down the front of her robe, clasping some pendant. Rila pulled it out and opened her palm. An unadorned, uncut gemstone glimmered faintly. At first glance, he thought it a ruby, but the color was far too rich.

"A bloodstone!"

"Yes, an heirloom. You know the legends of the Graystone in Qualinesti?"

"I do."

"Legend has it that the bloodstones came from a Redstone, the Graystone representing the combination of good and evil, and the Redstone representing the absence of each. The jewels you have to pass through the Shoikan Grove...I believe that they are parts of a Blackstone, if ever such a thing existed."

"So you mean to get yourself a piece of the Whitestone from Ergoth, and find the Graystone?"

"Yes, master."

"You realize that many stronger than you have been destroyed by just one of these? What will happen when you bring these together, do you think?"

"They will balance each other out."

"Leaving what? What is there to gain?"

"Power," she said in a voice without passion. It was not the voice of one conquering overwhelming odds, not the voice of one brimming with ambition. Her voice was dead.

"If you believe you can do this, I will grant you a nightjewel. Understand, however, if you accept it, I will not accept anything other than this task when you return. Are you willing still?"

"Yes. Thank you, master. I am certain."

"I will bring it tonight. One question more, how did you keep a bloodstone without me knowing?"

"Arine made a special box for me; she said it was payment, though I do not see how she is in my debt."

* * *

Ten minutes after Rila left, Telir knocked on Dalamar's door. The dark elf called him inside, and Telir sat across form him with an alacrity that spoke of nervousness. His eyes scanned the neat row of daggers, but he kept his hands folded in the sleeves of his robe. Dalamar gave him an appraising perusal before pushing the seventh dagger across the table to Telir. He took it wordlessly. The blade went into a leather satchel which was already half full.

"Thank you, master. May I be excused? There is much yet to be done."

Dalamar smirked a bit and nodded. Telir hurried out as swiftly as could be considered polite.

* * *

Bretik entered third, his brown eyes coolly taking in his surroundings. He lingered in the doorway until Dalamar indicated for him to sit, and he did so hesitantly. Dalamar smiled ironically, which eased the young man. His taunt shoulders relaxed, and he asked "Which is mine?"

"How do you know any are?"

"Telir told me"

"That one," Dalamar answered, pointing at the fifth dagger, frowning slightly as Bretik brandished the dagger. It was heavier than the others, but Bretik held it comfortably, shifting his fingers slightly to find a grip on the ebony hilt. With a remorseful air, Bretik let the blade slip from his hand and asked "May a wizard carry more than one blade?"

In explanation, Bretik yanked up his sleeves, showing identical blades strapped to each wrist. He twisted his left arm slightly so the thin blade caught the light. Dalamar arched one brow and drawled "You are already carrying two, already defying the code, aren't you?"

"No, this is one dagger, split into two halves. See, only the outer edges are sharp. This gift is crafted better than these, though. I mean you no offense, but I will take this one and have the same done to it. In the past, I have found such an arrangement useful," he said. He unbuckled the old dagger from his wrists and left them upon the table, taking the new one with him out of the room.

* * *

White robed Palin came next, his auburn hair disheveled. It was obvious that he had woke up recently, and rushed in, too tired for courtesy. Wearily, he flopped into the chair, supporting his head with one hand, his elbow on the table. With bleary eyes he watched his master, yawning.

"Good morning, Palin," Dalamar said, amused. Palin grumbled something inarticulate. In this instant, he was very much like his father. Much like Caramon, he was eating rather messily, but unlike his sire, Palin was not eating more than a biscuit. Wiping away the biscuit crumbs, he finally muttered "I'm sorry, master. All night I've been trying to memorize spells from the book I borrowed from you, since I can't take it with me. I've slept no more than three hours."

"The first dagger is yours. I advise that you rest for a few more hours, Palin. You won't retain anything if you're so exhausted."

"Yes, master," Palin murmured, grasping the first blade. Interest roused him as he studied it. It shone brightly, exquisite in it's simplicity. Steel needed no decoration. Almost lovingly, he connected the sheath to the belt of his robes, then returned his gaze to Dalamar.

"Tell me something. You have passed the Test. You can leave and start on your own. Why haven't you?"

"You know how I feel. Even now the memory of my Test fades. I think I should be tested again, in Wayreth like the others will be. Somehow, it doesn't feel official otherwise."

"You are unlike the others. The circumstances were different."

"But I wasn't really doing anything! My whole Test was an illusion. I wasn't ever in peril. A real Test would prove me worthy. Besides, everyone expects such great things of me because of my uncle, and I don't believe I can fulfill those expectations, not yet. There is still much you can teach me, master."

"If you were not capable, you would not have the Staff of Magius. The Shalafi cares nothing for the ties of blood. I thought Caramon would have taught you this, at least. You were given the Staff because you have the strength to wield it. Do not doubt yourself, young one."

Palin canted his head with a pensive expression, but his musing was interrupted with a yawn. He left, deciding that those words would be pondered after he had a few more hours of rest.

* * *

Seldarin sauntered in, graceful and smug. His velvet robes flowed around him like ink in stark contrast to his white skin and golden hair. With a courtly bow, he completed his indulgent entrance. Upon noting Dalamar's irritated countenance, the younger elf subdued his pride and darted to the vacant chair.

"Good morning," Seldarin intoned politely.

"Indeed. The eighth dagger is yours."

Seldarin blinked, having failed to see the daggers up until this point. Reaching down, he unsheathed the eighth dagger and gasped softly. It was a magnificent object, well-suited to the pompous elf. The silver hilt was shaped like a young aspen, it's slender branches cradling the blade which was spike of diamond, honed with magic to a deadly point.

"Quite a lovely gift. Thank you, master," he finally told Dalamar, uncharacteristically humble. Seldarin admired his teacher, and the dagger would be cherished. Dalamar dismissed the student, who went gladly so that he could see how the diamond shined in the saffron light of the rising sun.

* * *

Canore cast a baleful glower towards Seldarin, who ignored him as a lowly human thief. Canore's green eyes darkened and he mumbled a curse, slinking into Dalamar's chamber. He halted before the heart where a dying fire was smoldering, his back to the dark elf.

Dalamar calmly observed the young man before beckoning him to the table. Canore obeyed, exuding insolence, but Dalamar had done the most for this orphan, so he came. He sat on the edge of the chair, his eyes moving about like a hawk's. He gave the daggers a cautious glance, noting that the blades were facing him, the looked to his master questioningly.

"The sixth is my gift to you."

Canore was suspicious, but after a full minute, he extended his left hand and picked up the dagger. He stroked the metal, then stood up. He whispered his thanks and left

* * *

Naldyn came in unbidden, stopping beside Dalamar. She curtsied in her flowing robes, then asked excitedly "What is this gift, master?" Dalamar gestured to the table, and she grabbed one of the two weapons. Caressing the rose that made up the pommel, she smiled softly.

"That one is yours."

She tossed the dagger into the air and caught it, thrilled by the whistling sound that caused. Replacing the pretty weapon in it's scabbard, she tucked it into a hidden pocket sewn into the lining of her robes. Turning towards Dalamar, she expressed her joy. Leaving abruptly, Naldyn went back to the mundane task of packing her clothing, humming softly.

* * *

Arine was last. She stood in the doorway, touching the wall, because her staff made no sound on the thick carpet. Dalamar rose and moved to her side, offering one arm to aid her. She felt the fabric of his sleeve brush her grasping hand, and understood. Clinging to his forearm, Arine followed Dalamar across the room to her chair.

She sat down and smoothed her crimson raiment, her pale eyes somehow fixed upon her teacher. When she was finished, he held out her dagger. Arine took it carefully, tracing it's outline with her nails. She set in her lap, and declared in her steady alto "Master, I have a request."

"What is it?"

"I want a branch from one of the trees in the Grove, and if I am to have it, it must be now."

"What for?"

"If you take no offense, master, my purpose is my own."

He stared at her with hard eyes, but that obviously had no effect. He sighed, contemplating, and finally agreed. Arine smiled wanly as he guided her out. In moments Dalamar was in the Grove, Arine waiting at the steps of the tower where Palin, Naldyn, and Canore were lurking also. The dark elf quickly severed a limb, about the length of his hand. He felt the tree's ire, though it would not attack him. Dalamar strode back to the tower quickly. The occupants of the Grove seemed more malign this day, and Rila's cat had been lying on the bough from which Dalamar had cut a branch, gold eyes gleaming in the eternal shadow of Shoikan Grove.


	3. Three

**Bonds**

Disclaimer: I don't own DL, plainly.  
AN: I didn't mean for this to be so long. I planned for them to leave, but that'l be next capter.

* * *

Dalamar handed the branch to Arine. As soon as she had it, the cat jumped down from the tree, walked unscathed through Shoikan Grove, and trotted in her wake. Thinking that Arine must be making some other magical item for Rila, he turned to the other three. He had never noticed Rila and Arine to be friends, and what was this group doing together?

"What are you all waiting for?" he asked.

"Naldyn and I request an escort from the Grove," Palin said, glancing at Canore with a perplexed expression.

"What for?" Dalamar asked, ignoring the third pupil until he had sorted out the other two.

"I want to go to the Temple," Palin told him.

"I'm going to see Astinus," Naldyn said in a matter-of-fact voice, daring one of them to deny her right to go.

Dalamar appeared shocked at first, but nodded at last with a thin smile. Even Canore's interest was piqued by that declaration. When he realized that they were staring expectantly at him, he said "I don't have to leave. I just like being near something else living, and the only thing we've got is the Grove."

* * *

Rila approached the elf, who didn't even realize her presence. That's what she thought at least. Without looking up, Telir asked "Do you think I should take two blankets? If it rains, one will be worthless, but I don't have much room."

She pondered a moment before saying "It's easier to just take a sleeping roll."

"Yes, I'll do that then. Now, what brings you here?"

"Do you know where you intend to go?"

"No, are you making a proposition?" Telir favored her with an intrigued expression.

"Yes. I will be going to Qualinesti. If you will escort me, I will aid you in your quest first."

Teliralas paused, sighing. He didn't want to go home. He hadn't been away long enough to miss the elven realm or to forgive the people who had driven him from it. Also, he knew that he probably would not get another offer, and he wanted an ally. Running a hand through his chestnut hair in a gesture of indecision, he nodded.

"Agreed."

* * *

Arine crept into her room, barely containing her exultation. As soon as the door was shut, she cackled madly. The staff fell from her hands as she used them both to caress the branch. With fervor, she tore off the barks, shedding bits of her skin along with the wood. Impervious to the splinters and scratches, Arine carved ancient runes into the oak limb.

_"Asirikoth dulath rerak/Shrath tekir arn Rila"_

The runes warmed, orange light seeping between her fingers. The balefire flashed, grew in intensity. She could feel her skin cooking, splitting, igniting. The cloying scent of burning flesh made her gag, but she continued to press her palms against the runes. Her skin was melting, dripping from the bones, gathering in sticky meres like tar on the floor. Charred bones held fast to the bough until what remained of her hands cracked and exploded into a billion motes of ash.

The illusion ended abruptly, the pain leaving nearly as swiftly. Her hands bore no mark of her trial. Beneath her healthy hands, the wood's temperature was neutral. The only sign that anything had changed was the aura of power in the branch and her exhaustion. Laughing weakly, she collapsed, panting for several minutes.

Arine yearned for sleep, but it was forbidden to her. Her task was not complete. Still lying on the rug, she reached into her pocket and fished out an orb. Preserving a ball of ice since winter had been difficult, but it was worth it now. She touched the end of the branch to it and the sphere froze onto the tip. At last, she licked the sweet ice. No liquid was removed by her action; the globe would stay frozen until a stronger magic overcame hers. All that mattered was that the tiniest fraction of the enchanted ice become a part of her.

Rolling over, she crawled around on her knees until she located the staff. Dragging herself up with the bed, she straightened her clothing before going to the door. Cautiously she opened it and stepped into the apparently empty hallway. She pulled the wand partially into her sleeve and strode towards her destination with haste, for the second half had to be done before an hour passed.

* * *

The clerk at the Temple smiled at Palin when he approached. Palin smiled nervously in response. Being a white mage among the Black Robes was equivalent to being among the clerics of Paladine. Clerics, regardless of their affiliation, give themselves wholly to their deity. Without the god or goddess's favor, they have nothing. Wizards, on the other hand, represent the gods but act independently, sometimes contradicting their wishes. Therefore, clerics are trusted more, but since a mage's power derives mainly from themselves, they often prove more useful.

"We don't often see wizards here," the clerk told him," but you are welcome. Why have you come?"

"I'm here to see Lady Crysania, if I may?"

"I will tell her that you have come to visit her. Your name?"

"Palin Majere. We've never met so tell her...Tell her that a family friend has come. She will understand that, I believe." Inwardly, he added "That should give her fair warning. If she doesn't want to discuss him, she'll be able to decline."

If the clerk thought his request odd or recognized his surname, he did not say so. The old man left Palin at the door and returned moments later. Beckoning, he said "The lady asks that you visit in her chamber." Palin said nothing and followed the clerk, taking his time. He wasn't sure if he simply wanted to linger on the splendor of the Temple, or if he was regretting coming to this place.

The elderly clerk knocked on the door, and a steady, feminine voice called them inside. Palin braced himself against the unknown. When he saw her, he relaxed. Crysania radiated wisdom and gentleness. She was calm, but alert. She looked much the way he imagined from his father's descriptions, except that her hair was shot through with silver, and her face had a few lines. Neither of these facts detracted from her beauty, he thought. He could not understand what she had loved in Raistlin, and he in her, for the differences were so great to his mind.

"You may leave us, Galric, unless you would like some wine, Palin?"

"No, but thank you."

Galric left with a concerned glance towards Crysania. He said nothing, shutting the door softly behind him. Palin stood there a moment, at a loss. The woman smiled slightly, indicating a chair with a wide sweep of her right hand, instructing him to sit.

As he did, she asked "Why have you come, Palin?"

"Can't you guess?" he said, surprised.

"I meant, why now?"

"Oh. I've always wanted to speak with you about...Well, I couldn't find a reason to just come, but now that I'm leaving Palanthas, and since I might not return, I have found my initiative."

"What exactly do you want to know?" Crysania inquired patiently. She adjusted her position to face the direction of Palin's voice.

. My father's said a lot about you, and about my uncle, but there's just some things that he won't tell me, things Dalamar will not tell me. I was hoping you could enlighten me."

The cleric considered his words, pensive. "Tell me what you know of Raistlin then."

"My father never really said much, not unless I asked specifically. My siblings and I never heard anything about him until I was...Well, it was Crysie's--My youngest sister is named for you--fourth Gift of Life day, so I was nine. Sensitive girl she is, she was upset that Father was so distant. I asked him what the matter was, so he cheered up, but you could tell it was feigned. I asked Mother, and she said it was the anniversary of...Well, that day with the Portal. Crysie was satisfied with that but I kept asking questions. I was fascinated, I suppose, and the more I learned, the more I asked. He talked more about when they were young, before the war, before Raistlin took the Test. After every anecdote, he'd remind me how lucky I am to have my family and to watch out for my little sisters. It's been a long time since I've seen them all. Maybe I can stop by Solace...

"Anyway, when I took my Test about five years ago, Dalamar organized an illusion, because my father wouldn't allow it otherwise...I went to the top of the Tower, and I saw into it, the Portal. It was open, and then I was in the Abyss. I found him. Dying..."

"Go on," Crysania said in a choked way, clearing her throat. To each of them, the room felt colder now.

"And he knew me. I watched...watched the Dark Queen...kill him, but he healed and we escaped. I was so happy for a short while. I thought...thought that he could come to Solace with me, teach me...He just wanted to dominate the world. Well, I mean, it was an illusion. My memory hasn't been so vivid since it happened. He asked that I wear the Black Robes, and I...I died, to stop him. I can't remember that part. I woke up, and found out it wasn't real...but I have his staff, from inside the Laboratory. The Guardian said it was promised to me. I don't understand it all. Dalamar doesn't either. He gets upset any time I ask him about what truly occurred."

"Why have you stayed here in Palanthas? I can tell that you are...troubled by what happened."

Palin absently ran his hand over the Staff of Magius, up to the base of the disembodied claw. The crystal gleamed faintly. Abruptly he moved his hand, and looked to her, saying "It's hard to explain. I just belong there, more than any other place. It doesn't make sense with me wearing the White Robes but..."

"I understand," Crysania said sympathetically.

"He's such a big part of me. It's the same magic, the same blood, you see. My father says we are very much alike. I'm not certain where he gets that impression. I mean, I am never certain if I should be flattered or insulted, or if it's only a fact. For so long, since I realized that I wanted to study magic, he has been my idol, but then I saw what he really was. There's still something admirable in Raistlin. Everyone is looking to me to be as great as he was too. I can't escape it, but I don't really want to either."

She smiled sadly, a wistful sheen to her clear, unseeing eyes. "Palin, what do you want out of life, from your magic?"

"To help people, I suppose."

"No, that is not elaborate enough. Raistlin could have justified himself as helping people by disposing of the Dark Queen. In fact, in more words, that is what he did."

"Oh...Then I...Um, don't know." He frowned, adding "I do, vaguely. I want to learn, maybe have a family or something like that, but a real goal? I've none. I did not know this before."

"So I assumed," Crysania responded, not unkindly. "Maybe you will discover something, young one. I think five years is too long to spend in that dark place."

"Perhaps. I do miss the sunlight."

"Do you still want to hear about your uncle then?"

"Yes."

Crysania sighed. She had allowed him to come because she felt he deserved the truth about Raistlin. Knowing Caramon, he would not have been told much. Curiosity had enticed her as well. Now though, she didn't want to bring the topic up. After thirty years, she thought about him every day. The memories were no less painful, although the type of sorrow had changed. She did want to discuss Raistlin. No one had asked for so long, but she already agreed to speak of the most powerful mage to have lived.

"I heard of his deeds in the war when I was a young woman. At the time, the True Gods were only beginning to reclaim the loyalty of the people. I had just converted to be a cleric of Paladine. I was eager to make a mark, do good for Krynn. Raistlin sounded so courageous and clever. I couldn't understand how someone like that would don the Black Robes. I believed that he was only misguided, and that I could lead him back to the straight path." She sighed, continuing "I do not know what to tell you that you have not heard before."

Palin started to say something, hesitated, then asked "Once my father said that you loved my uncle, and he must have loved you. Is that true, do you think?"

Her expression transformed drastically, as if a shadow cloaked her instantly. The air pulsed with tension, each of them as still as marble until Crysania finally canted her head to concur. "Yes, I did love him. Very much like your father in that respect. I did not understand him, all of him at least. In that, it's a shallow love, but...I still don't know if he loved me. If he did, he would take it as a weakness. His ambition was stronger than love. Sometimes I wish it could have been different for him. Maybe more like you, young one."

"I would not be what I am were it not for him."

"Many people would say that of themselves. He would be proud of you. He understood his choice completely, Palin. When he chose, he knew that ultimately goodness is the most powerful force. The darkness is the quickest way to power, which is what he desired, but he would be proud of you in spite of your alliance. If I can see the best of him in you, he would."

"What do you see in me though, that is in him, besides the magic?"

"He felt compassion, just not for everyone. You have his intelligence, his stillness. He was always calm. There was nothing he did not account for. Perhaps you do not consider this a positive trait, but you have his distance, aloofness. Sometimes that will help a person, but it has a great price. He is alone now, and you isolate yourself in the Shoikan Grove."

"I don't see."

"Yes, you do. You think that no one understands. I felt that way; he felt that way. It's not true. You think more deeply. You need more than just a family and a field to keep you happy. Maybe it's not even happiness you seek. Greatness, power, insight? They are not so different. You must decide which, Palin."

* * *

"What is it, Bertram?" Astinus did not pause or glance at the Aesthetic. In a precise script, he wrote without stopping, adding that Bertram had interrupted

"Naldyn Mallen of Tarsis has come, requesting an audience."

Astinus noted that in his great tome and said "Have her come here then. Make haste. There isn't much time before she will set out."

"Here?" Bertram asked, astounded. At nineteen, she would be the youngest person ever to set foot in this place.

"Yes. As I said, make haste." Bertram bowed, and did as Astinus bade. Not long after, Beret returned anxiously with the black-clad wizardess on his heels. She curtsied elegantly, the gesture wasted because Astinus had not looked up.

"What brings you to my study?"

Naldyn took a deep breath, searching for the proper way to begin. Should she be self-assured or modest? Like many others, she felt the overwhelming sense of reverence and insignificance, not scornful nor welcoming. She believed herself to be in the presence of a god, who deserved to be recognized as such, but if she did acknowledge that, she would be claiming more of attention that was rightly hers.

"You see, sir, we now know how Fistandantilus transferred his essence into the bodies of other people, or something like that. I think that he might have written other spell books, under other names."

"And you would like me to tell you what names, and where?"

"I did not expect so much, sir."

"Yet this is what you shall have, but I do not bargain with mortals without a fee."

"I have nothing which could be of any value to you," she insisted.

"But you will, if you succeed. This moment has waited all of the millennia, to test existence. Even I cannot tell to what end. Even now, there is something being forged which threatens all Creation. I have seen it already through the eyes of many Seers, but will not impress upon my mind. It must not make it's way to any other plane. There is a single scroll which you have to obtain, which will instruct you."

"I thought you are neutral in all things?" she asked.

"I am, but the reason for neutrality is to preserve Creation. It is Gilean more than Paladine who caused the Cataclysm, to restore neutrallity. If the races can revert to harmony, it is recorded, as they were in the beginning, then the universe has achieved it's purpose."

Astinus did halt now, ageless silence enveloping everything. It felt to Naldyn and Bertram that their hearts were not beating, or else the noise of it would deafen them. Astinus, however, was thinking of the unwritten chronicle, the one Caramon Majere had brought from the future in which his twin ruled as the only god. Even in that bleak time, neutrality had not failed, for Raistlin existed, as he would have infinitely.

"The only thing which is clear to me is that this scroll is 'plain before the Dark Queen's many eyes, to he who sees for her.' You will be the one that deciphers the riddle."

"Why me? How am I worthy of this quest? Why not a White Robe to be the savior?"

"You are the one who asked. The duty is yours now, and why not a Black Robe?" Astinus retorted with a piercing gaze. "You serve Takhisis. Darkness destroys itself, but it cannot destroy neutrality, from which it springs and has no part of at once. She will grant you sight in time, for her realm and she herself are under threat as well. None of us comprehend it fully yet, but this much is plain."

"How can you not know what this something is? I thought you know all there is to be known?"

"I have only the barest glimpse of the future. Time has a natural current that it must follow, but each bend in the river of Time is not determined until the water reaches it. I know only what I have told you. I can tell you no more."

* * *

Rila approached the Laboratory door cautiously. She did not like this section of the Tower, but predictably, Palin was there, perusing the door thoughtfully, then focusing his attention on the Staff of Magius. His free hand would occasionally run over the door itself, perhaps turn the knob futilely. He was the only person who dared, and likely the only person the Guardian would tolerate.

Her cat trotted forward before Rila could stop him. To her horror, the Guardian materialized, then did nothing. The corpses of vermin and insects littered the floor, what remained of the Guardians 'meals', but the feline was ignored. She silently praised whatever god had done her this kindness, certain that Gilean did not particularly care for her pet one way or the other.

Palin jumped at her whispered prayer. He smiled affectionately at the younger girl, if not enthusiastically. When he noticed her discomfort at being there, he went to the stairs and walked down, waiting for her thirteen steps down, as wont. Rila called for her cat, snapping her fingers to draw his attention. The black animal whisked his tail, flattened his ears in annoyance. The Guardian and the cat stared at one another, and Rila decided that it was better to let them be. She followed Palin.

"Where have you been?" she asked.

"At the Temple," he answered, and both of their countenances fell at the mention, for different reasons.

"What's wrong, Rila?"

"My father was a cleric, so my mother says."

"Under what god?"

"The Dark Queen."

"A dark cleric wed a...a normal woman?"

"They were not wed," she responded in a low voice, her eyes downcast. Her delicate hands clenched. Palin said no more on the painful topic. It never occurred to him before that he knew very little about Rila's parents. She was born outside of Palanthas in a small town he had not heard of to a barmaid in the local tavern. Rila knew little about the man, who was hanged for murder before she was born. Still, she had not mentioned before that he was a cleric of Takhisis.

"You've been a brother to me. I wanted to tell you that before we all left." She smiled weakly, remembering how he found her on the streets. Since he would amount to more, Palin enjoyed entertaining on the streets once in a while. Ten year old Rila had volunteered to participate in his act, but got Palin into trouble when she disrupted his trick with her own elementary magic. Quite shocked, Palin had brought her to the Tower where Dalamar studied her and agreed to allot her an opportunity.

"I could go with you."

Rila shook her head. "I am going to Qualinesti." Palin took it as a matter of loyalty towards Tanis, and perhaps even to Dalamar, that he never go to such a self-righteous, unforgiving place. He nodded and embraced her, then stepped back a pace, saying "Very well. I hope we meet again. No more time for sentiment. I believe it is time for our last meal together for a year."


End file.
